Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
