I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
