I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize