I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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