apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
As shirtless as possible
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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