I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
