I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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