I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
