he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
