I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
