he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize