Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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