Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
