4 words: hood of his car
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
