New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
