I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
