ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
