i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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