found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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