He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
