I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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