hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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