no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize