It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
