Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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