I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
being pregnant is like rehab
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
