you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
