I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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