I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
