three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
