The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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