Is it normal to miss your booty call?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
