i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
