Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
