he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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