Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
