We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
