Your face is a jimmy john
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize