Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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