hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
