we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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