It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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