But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
