The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
