have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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