We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
