Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
