And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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