Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize