Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize