That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
