there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
