I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
