I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
