Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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