Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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