Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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